Women of Worth

From Productivity Zombie to Peak Performance: The Less is More Solution

• Claire Fealy

Share episode

Click here to get into Pressure To Peace before doors close Friday 28th March (not opening again until Aug, sign up before Friday and save €1,000!). 

If you're ready to go from strategy to support and live, lead and achieve from a place of rest, not stress - this is the place to be! 

Become the radiant, relaxed and resilient woman you know you were born to be with my proven 5 step strategy for peak performance, happiness and success! 

If you find yourself functioning but feeling completely disconnected, getting through the day but not really feeling anything – like a robot on autopilot, today's episode is for you! 

That's what I call being a "productivity zombie," and it's the direct result of living too long in survival mode.

The productivity paradox is real, and it's keeping you stuck in a cycle of stress, burnout, and diminishing returns. 

In today's episode we explore the productivity paradox and how to transform from a productivity zombie into someone who performs at their best by doing less. 

The conversation reveals how surviving in chronic stress leads to functional freeze and disconnection from joy, and provides a clear path to reclaiming energy, focus, and self-worth.

In today's episode you'll learn:

• The functions of the four stress responses: fight, flight, fawn, and freeze
• How "flight mode" (constant busyness) leads to "functional freeze"
• The ways you're treating yourself abusively through impossible standards
• Break the cycle of swinging between perfectionism and procrastination
• Separating your worth from your output by doing simple daily wins
• How to create proactive systems with realistic expectations 
• Prioritizing intentional rest as a high-performance strategy, not just a reward
• Learning to get your worth from within instead of external validation

If you enjoyed today's episode drop me a message over on Instagram or claire.fealy@gmail.com. I always love hearing from you. Feel free to share with a friend or fellow workaholic and help me help more women break free from the busy to burnout trap and rediscover balance, bliss and brilliance!


PS: If you want to join Pressure to Peace, doors are closing March 28th and won't reopen for 4-5 months. When the program returns, the price will double. All the details are here or drop me an email DM to chat more.



Speaker 1:

Welcome to the Women of Worth podcast. I am your host, clare Feely, teacher turned mindset and confidence coach. Each week, I will be bringing you inspiring people messages and science-backed strategies to help you reconnect with your worth. You are worthy because you were born. This podcast is all about empowering you to stop proving your worth and start being it, because the only person that gets to decide your worth is you. Hello and welcome back to this week's episode of the Women of Worth podcast.

Speaker 1:

In today's episode, I want to talk to you about the productivity paradox and I want to talk to you about the solution to go from a productivity zombie to performing at your best by doing less. So we're going to jump right in. I was working with a client yesterday who is very much stuck in functional freeze, and I'll explain what functional freeze is to you. So we have four stress responses, and stress responses are all about survival. So you've heard of fight, flight, fawn and freeze. So when we are under threat, when we are stressed, we have four options. We can fight the threat. We can flee from the threat, flight. We can fawn, which is to appease the threat. This is where people pleasing comes in. Or we can freeze, and freeze is playing dead. Freeze is the fourth and last option. So freeze is when fight, flight and fawn have all failed. So when you're living in chronic stress, your body is in this constant state of threat and tension and it's like the way I would even see it with clients. Everything feels like life or death, everything feels like an emergency, everything is urgent, everything is like it's survival mode. You're basically living in survival mode and when you're in survival mode it is impossible to thrive. If you think of survival mode as being chased by a lion, it's impossible to just sit and relax, like when I work with clients in survival mode or even functional freeze. Rest feels like stress because they're so anxious. It's like me telling you to sit and rest when you're being chased by a lion.

Speaker 1:

So when you get into functional freeze and this is really important most of the women I work with are in the flight stress response. So flight is in the running away from the threat. So the flight response is being chronically busy, like you can't sit still, you're constantly going. You can't sit and watch a movie. Like two hours feels too long, like you need constant distraction and action. Right. So that's the flight response.

Speaker 1:

But when you stay in that too long, you go into the freeze response, where your body just shuts down and it's like you're playing dead and it's the. For my client, it is like not being able to get off the sofa in the evening. So, even though you're telling yourself I need to get up, I need to get ready for bed, I need to do this, I need to like, you know what you need to do, but you've no energy because and my client could even recognize she was in survival mode for so long and now her body has just completely given up and it's not like the solution to this is not going to complete collapse. The solution is to ease your way back out of it. And what I was explaining to her and I think that this is really important to notice is that you need to slowly build your energy back up again. You need to take simple steps out of survival mode. It's not going from one extreme to the other, so you can't bounce from freeze back to flight. You have to find that happy middle, and I call the happy middle the like freedom and flow. Like freedom and flow is the new fight or flight.

Speaker 1:

So she has been slowly coming back out of it. She's been getting back into the gym. She's been, you know, doing, doing small tasks, getting back out of it, but the biggest thing is she's not beating herself up. The biggest thing is and that's always the relief that my clients get they realize that they're not being lazy, they realize that they're not like, um, they don't just need more discipline or more motivation, they need to understand that these stress responses are biological and you can't psychologically get like, you can't think your way out of them. You have to let your body do with it what it's designed to do when it has been living in a state of chronic stress for so long. And that's why I'm so bloody passionate about what I do is stopping women, like, from getting to this point, where so functional freeze is where you're functioning.

Speaker 1:

So she was saying like you're getting things done, like she's holding down, she has a really good job, so you're getting things done, but you feel like a robot, like you feel like you're just on autopilot and that's what I call like a productivity zombie. Or you know, like when you're in flight mode, it's like productivitis. It's like you're inflamed with stress. You're inflamed with like you're obsessed with productivity and being busy and getting things done and what happened with my client is when we go into freeze the freeze response because fight, flight and fawn like our people pleasing our perfectionism, all of that isn't working. We go into like the freeze response and that can feel like procrastination, but actually your body is just exhausted and motivation is not the solution.

Speaker 1:

But it's the way that I hear clients describing this is and I see it with them when they start coaching versus when they finish coaching. There's no joy, there's no like. One of my clients was describing this as people would tell me that they're expecting or they're having, you know, a baby girl, they're having a baby boy. Or you find out that a friend got engaged and of course you're happy for them, but they would describe it as but I don't feel happy, like I have to remind myself to smile, I've to. So you're completely disconnected from your emotions. You're completely disconnected from your emotions. You're completely disconnected from your body and that's a biological stress response.

Speaker 1:

So the productivity paradox is that doing more doesn't equal more, like the more you do does not equal more success. It's like if you think of elite athletes elite athletes take their recovery and rest as serious as they take their training, and that's always what I'm helping my clients work towards. What I'm helping you work towards, is getting out of being a productivity zombie where you're just going through like life is not a to-do list. You're not here like to check things off a to-do list. You're here to live in bliss and you're here to live in balance and you're here to like be bloody brilliant. You are not here to burn yourself out and I wish somebody told me this years ago. I really really do, um, but it's that like productivity is not activity, it is not like. It's not quantity, it's not how much you get done, it's quality, it's getting the right things done.

Speaker 1:

So it's that like going from working off a to-do list to working off a priorities list, like even with that client that's in functional freeze at the minute, her task this week is to just do one 30 minute task every day. So instead of letting things build up and build up and build up, like being stuck in procrastination or being stuck in perfectionism, which is the flight stress response where you know you're like an energizer bunny, you're getting so much done it's like I want you to just do one 30 minute task a day and I want that to be enough, because what happens is when you're stuck in oscillating between perfectionism and procrastination, you massively damage your self-worth because you are treating yourself like shit. So when you are super productive and you're getting loads of things done, you're not looking after yourself, and that's reinforcing the belief that you don't deserve peace, that you don't deserve happiness, that you like you're not worthy of rest, you're not worthy of your own love, you're not worthy of looking after yourself. And when you're in procrastination, you're shame spiraling. You're giving out to yourself for being so lazy. You're giving out like so it. It keeps you stuck in low self-worth. So it's not just about what you're getting done or what you're not getting done, it's about how you're treating yourself. It's about like the beliefs that you're reinforcing through your behavior. Um, so the it's like. This is why I will always be talking about the less is more mindset. So even when I said to her about doing like my client, about that's in functional freeze, about doing the 30 minute task a day and just stopping there like I could even see the relief on her face she was like oh, my god, like I can actually do, like yes, I can do that, you know, and it's the. When you do less, you're building your confidence, you're building your self-trust, you're building your like. You're just. It's like you're building a much better relationship with yourself.

Speaker 1:

And I had like one of my clients this week. One of her biggest breakthroughs is that she is in an abusive relationship with herself, so constantly criticizing herself, and the only way she knows how to praise herself is when she is pushing herself past her limits. And that was her big light bulb moment. And most women are in abusive relationships with themselves, not just how they speak to themselves, not just their self talk, but like their expectations of themselves. I often ask my clients would you give that to-do list to your closest friend and would you expect her to get that much done in a day? Would you expect her to you know like? Would you speak to her like you speak to yourself? No, of course you wouldn't. And I've been working with this client who is very, very hard on herself for the last few weeks and that was when it really clicked. She, she said to me at the end of the session she was like Claire, that's what made things like, that's what made things fall into place. That's what made me finally realize that the way I'm speaking to myself isn't working is when you said you're abusing, like you're in an abusive relationship with yourself. So I'm hoping that her breakthrough will help you to see that, like being hard on yourself, it's so much more harmful it's never helpful. So okay, claire, less is more. That all sounds great.

Speaker 1:

How do you actually do it? So let's get into the three steps. The first step you have to separate your worth from your output. You have to stop using doing to feel good about yourself and achieving to feel good about yourself. And how feel good about yourself? And how I get clients to do this is recording your daily wins. So three things that went well today, because what happens when you get stuck on the hamster wheel of doing, doing, doing is you completely dismiss. And I swear to god, there is not one client that I've worked with that has not found the three daily wins to be an absolute game changer, where they are like oh my God, clare, I'm actually getting loads done, but I never focus on how much I get done. I'm always focused on what needs to be done. So it's training your brain out of lack and it's training your brain out of the stress response. It's training your brain out of the stress response. It's training your brain out of like anxiety and it's training your brain back into abundance and love and like actually praising yourself.

Speaker 1:

And I know that that feels really uncomfortable, because you've spent your whole life shitting on yourself and now I'm telling you to sit and write your wins and all of that. But honestly, it's such. It's like you have to learn how to get your worth from within and not get it like even with perfectionism. Perfectionism is like the only way that you know how to feel good and how to feel valued is when you're being appreciated by other people. So you have to stop getting your worth from the externals and get it from the internal, like giving it to yourself.

Speaker 1:

And love is not. Love is not a word like, oh, I love myself. That doesn't work. Love is action and I think of love as and this is what love actually is it's respect and trust. If you think of the person you love the most, like your partner, your husband, your wife, whoever it is but if you think of the person you love, it's because you respect them and you trust them. But how did they get your trust and respect? You get trust and respect through time and attention. So when you first met your partner, you didn't trust and respect them straight away. They gave you time and they gave you attention and we have to learn to give ourselves time and attention. That's your daily well-being rituals, that's your morning mindset, your evening body moving your body, and your night time like I call it, my bedtime bliss, where you're nourishing your soul. So it's having well-being rituals where you nourish yourself every day, where you give yourself time and attention, where you build your own trust and respect. And I swear to you, when you are at that place of self-love, like when you love yourself from the inside out, when you're when like how you love yourself has nothing to do with what you achieve or how much you get done in a day, I swear to god you glow from the inside out. It's like it is the best feeling like.

Speaker 1:

When I was chatting to that client about like being in an abusive relationship with yourself and getting your worth from your achievements, I explained to her the analogy of a dog chasing its tail. And you know the way we look at a dog chasing its tail and we laugh because like they're never going to get it, they can't reach it, and like they don't realize it's part of them. That's what I think proving your worth is. Like you know, proving your worth it's and this is what the client said. The client was it's never ending. It's exhausting, like you're just. You constantly have to go to the next thing and the next thing and the next thing. And I asked her what would it be like? And I'm asking you this now I want you to actually connect with your body and feel this what would it feel like to love yourself just because? What would it feel like to love yourself as much at your lowest as you do on your best days? Like what would it feel like to love yourself unconditionally? What would it feel like to just love yourself because of who you are and not what you do? And she took a minute to kind of think about it and she was like freedom, like that, that would just be freedom. And I'm like yes, that's what it is, it's freedom. It's like you're not constantly chasing your tail, you're not constantly working to prove your worth. And she was confused with worth. I want to explain what worth is. We throw around the term self-worth. Oh no, you're worth.

Speaker 1:

What is worth Worth is the belief that you are worthy of love and you're worthy of respect and you're worthy of belonging and you're worthy of happiness and you're worthy of success. You're worthy of the good things in life. And that belief needs to come from you. You need to believe that you are enough, exactly as you are. And I always use the analogy of if you think of a baby, right like, think of a beautiful six-month-old baby are they worthy of love because of what they do or are they worthy of love because of who they are? You are born worthy of love and belonging.

Speaker 1:

And when you didn't get that in childhood not because you had bad parents, but because you had busy parents you had parents who were burdened by their own stuff. You had bad parents, but because you had busy parents, you had parents who were burdened by their own stuff. You had parents who were broken, whatever it was. But when you didn't get that as a child, it's a survival mechanism where you develop the belief that I didn't get, that I didn't get attention and affection and appreciation because I didn't deserve it and there's something wrong with me. But if I can do enough, if I can achieve enough, if I can impress people enough, then I'll be worthy of love, then I'll be deserving of success, then I deserve everything I desire, and it is the complete other way around.

Speaker 1:

It is when you start treating yourself with love and respect, like when you value yourself, the whole world values you like. That's the point I'm at in my life where I love myself so much and I respect myself so much and I am so fucking full of myself, unapologetically, and I'm surrounded by people who reflect that back to me. And back when I had really low self-worth, I was surrounded by people who reflected back to me that I didn't deserve respect, I didn't deserve love, and it's because your outer world is a mirror for your inner world. So when you get these like well-being rituals in place where you nourish your mind, body and soul every day, like that's the foundation of happiness, that's the foundation of success, and it's just like it's not enough to know your worth. You have to treat yourself like you are valuable because you flip an hour. It's not even because I remember a client asked me like oh, do you just lie to yourself? It's like no, you're not lying to yourself, you're remembering that you were born. Like you're worthy because you're born. You're worthy because you're here, not because of what you do.

Speaker 1:

So step one is to separate your worth from your output and your work and get your worth from within and not the external validation, because external validation is a drug the more you chase it, the more you get it. The more you chase it, the more you get it, the more you need it and it leaves you feeling empty and exhausted. So decide that you are worthy because of who you are and not what you do. That is step one. Step two is you need proactive systems and standards. So you need to set your week up for success. You need to decide your top three priorities, like what would make this week a great week, what would make like even your work priorities Never go over three. Our brain can't handle more than three. Everything else is busy work. So if you could only get one thing done this week, that would make it a great week. What would that be If you could only get two things, if you could only get two things, if you could only get three things?

Speaker 1:

And then it's taking your weekly priorities and putting them into daily priorities and also setting up like I cannot tell you the power of automating automating your meal prep, automating your fitness, like what I see with most overwhelmed, stressed and anxious women is there's no structure in place, there's no systems, and they spend more time thinking about tasks than actually doing them. So, thinking about what they're going to eat, thinking about when to go to the gym, thinking about like, set yourself up for success, take all of the stress out. So I do this on a Saturday morning. I take an hour on Saturday morning. I call it like my Saturday success system and I map out my whole week. And it's the first thing I do, like I clean my house, get up on a Saturday, do my morning ritual, and then I clean the house and I sit down and I map out my week. So by 10 o'clock on one on Saturday morning, I have the whole rest of my week mapped out. Literally I just enjoy the weekend. After, like, after that, I'm like yep, I've everything set up. I'm so bloody proactive, um.

Speaker 1:

And the last part is like so, number one, you've separated your worth from your output. You are free to like achieve from a place of overflow rather than overwhelm. The second one is you've systems and standards. Like you set realistic expectations. You set yourself up for success. The third one is you need to fully switch off. Rest is not a reward, it is a requirement. You need to rest like an elite athlete. You need to take rest and recovery as serious as you take your productivity. The number one strategy and this is the productivity paradox the number one productivity strategy that I give my clients is recovery and rest, and we were doing this in the Pressure to Peace program this week.

Speaker 1:

Intentional rest so most people think that they're relaxing, when actually they're distracting. So they're scrolling their phone, they're watching Netflix. Whatever it is phone they're watching Netflix. Whatever it is relaxing is not distracting. It is being in the moment. It is like letting your body and your brain completely switch off and relax. It is so different to distraction. It is like, oh my god, it's just being in your body. It's being in your body. It's being in your like, being in the present moment. It is like rest. You have to start seeing that rest is not lazy. It's a high performance strategy. The more relaxed you are, the like the when you're at your relaxed you're at your best.

Speaker 1:

Um, so I'm going to leave it there because I want to keep my podcast episodes shorter. I want you to number one, stop attaching your worth to what you get done in a day. Number two, I want you to set up simple systems and rituals and routines. That makes your week feel easy. And number three, I want you to intentionally switch off and rest and before I leave you on today's episode, you don't need to do this on your own, you don't need to spend years trying to figure it out, or you can. Totally up to you, I have all of the systems and structures on. It's called the bliss board and you can use it as an app on your phone or you can use it as on your laptop, and it has your well-being rituals, your productivity, your high performance systems and it has your um, rest and happiness habits. So it's all done for you. Literally, you just plug and play. Literally you just fit these into your day and your week and I coach you on the mindset blocks. I coach you on detaching your worth from your output. Every week, that's what we're doing. So every week, you're implementing a new high performance system and strategy and I'm coaching you so that this is your new normal. It's about making bliss your baseline so that you can perform at your best every day.

Speaker 1:

But you have to decide that you're done living in survival mode. You have to decide that there's so much more to life than being busy. You have to decide that you are not here to survive, you are here to thrive. That life is not a race, life is not a test. Life is an adventure to be enjoyed If you are ready to take your life from overwhelming to overflowing.

Speaker 1:

I want you to imagine what it would feel like to wake up every day feeling fully rested and excited for the day, because your whole day is mapped out with loads of time for self-care and rest and hobbies and doing the things that you love. I want you to imagine what it's like living a life that is aligned with your values, aligned with what matters most to you, so you're no longer like, you're not chasing the external validation and you're not chasing other people's definition of success. You feel whole, worthy and complete, exactly as you are. You give to others from your overflow never your overwhelm and this means that your relationships are so much more fulfilling, your work is so much more fulfilling and your life feels even better than it looks. I want you to imagine what it feels like to feel unstoppable, to feel alive and thriving, all because you prioritized yourself over your achievements. You prioritized your happiness over how your life looks to others. It is a game changer.

Speaker 1:

If you are ready to join us. Doors close this Friday, the 28th of March, and they're not opening again for the next few months. And when they do open in the next few months, the price is going to double. Join now and get all of these upgrades over the next few months for half the price. And it's about stop delaying your happiness. Stop defaulting to busy mode, like your only goal in life is to flip and enjoy it. Stop trying to do it all yourself. Get the support, get the strategies and whatever you do, whether you join pressure to peace or not, like it makes no odds to me. I'm running these sessions every week anyway. Do it for yourself. Do it because you deserve a life that feels amazing, and do it because you deserve the support and you deserve to not just do it all yourself. I'm going to love you and leave you there. Stay peaceful, stay powerful, but, most importantly, stay playful. Life is an adventure that is meant to be enjoyed, not a race to be endured. Thank you, and I'll chat to you again next week.

People on this episode

Head Shot

Claire Fealy

Host